Doesn't afraid

Since it's Sherine's birthday (in Canada) I'll say happy birthday.

I'm not doing any of the things I planned to do once online:

third young master, poi ; beccatilts; reckless; head in wastebasket case ;  corps

In the anime show Angel Beats! (2009), a character vanishes after she does something she always wanted to do: play music on a stage. Another character has always wanted to catch a baseball that was hit by a player during a baseball game, but just as he is about to do this, he is tackled by another character and prevented from reaching this goal.

I don't know if it's relevant since I don't know what she's doing in her life or whether she has died, but I think at one point 'Person A' was using the character who tackled the other character as her avatar.

I do think this pattern appears in life. After someone accomplishes some goal, they 'vanish'. For me, I thought for a while this goal could be meeting 'Person A', but it could also be people using the idea described on this site.

But it doesn't matter. As written in Sun Tzu's Art of War, having too great of a desire to stay alive can be as harmful as wishing for death. If there's anyone who could get people to use the idea who isn't doing so because they think it would cause me to 'vanish', I apologize to anyone who is affected by this inaction, such as everyone who has died from the novel coronavirus outside of China or the millions of people, both children and adults, at risk of starvation in Yemen. It is my fault, and you should blame me.

Understanding my psychology

When I posted a thread or comment on the World of Warcraft official forums in mid-May 2007, in response to Pigzig quitting WoW and editing the thread from being a polite explanation to having swear words in order to get banned, in which I mentioned crying so hard my fingers and cheeks had gone numb, Pigzig replied saying the post or thread made him happy. Something to that effect.

And thus, perhaps, began a strategy of being sad in order to make other people happy. This is how I seem to think, anyway, and it might have started here.

Most depressing thing I can think of

If 'Person A', whose given name is probably Mei but whose family name is probably not Hiratou, only scored around the 90th percentile on standardized tests.

She started college when she was 13 or 14, and you have to be smart for that, right? But how smart? Let's say 90th percentile among all people who took a test, not the entire population. For the SAT used in the US, that would be a combined score of about 1340. https://blog.prepscholar.com/sat-percentiles-and-score-rankings

Of course, getting such a score at age 13 would be different from getting it at age 18. But I mean her performance compared to other people her age.