In a comment someone acknowledged the existence of this blog but said that its self-indulgence made it boring and too difficult to understand what it was about. Coincidentally that was the name of my first blog!
So this blog entry is because, among other reasons, Jamie Johnson might have deleted a comment I made on his last column where I said that "I tried" and linked to this site, and because Yoko Ono waited several days at least before deciding not to publish a comment saying that "the conventional approach was a failure" and linked to pastebin.com and similar for another comment where I simply linked to the change.org petition, at which time she said on Twitter that peace was "very close".
Or maybe those are just excuses. As Machiavelli said, "A prince never lacks legitimate reasons to break his promise."
Right. So what I would like to avoid is a Hitler-style "life quest" that involves putting off other goals but gives other people hope that it will eventually be completed.
Number one reason to conclude that everything on this site is wrong: my current situation.
Which includes people not talking to me. If not for that, you might be able to say that this has all just been an elaborate way to test whether certain people care about me in order to reduce future risk.
So, the mess I am in: I have mentioned the possible consequences if my name were to be associated with this idea.
A little about me: like my older brother, I scored a 1600 on the old SAT (on my second attempt). After taking two AP tests in 10th grade and three in 11th grade, I took seven in 12th grade including several which I did not have time to study for and passed all of them with a score of 4 or 5, which would have been sufficient for course credit at basically all colleges. But this was basically because my high school did not really have a more accelerated program, and I nearly failed several classes (including ones where I passed the AP test) while doing this. Compared to other people it was not very impressive.
Upon entering the military I had a 150 GT score, which is used to determine eligibility for 'smart' job types like intelligence analyst. This might be the highest possible score although some people report scoring higher in the past. (I should mention that in the military my primary responsibilities were sweeping floors, burning classified documents in a metal barrel and doing repetitive tasks with Powerpoint™.)
Meanwhile, Person A (whose last name I am not sure of, and whose appearance I have never seen and voice I have never heard) started college when she was 14 after a break of a few months to play World of Warcraft, which she asked me to also play. She reached Rank 14 on one or maybe two characters, and was given an account with another Rank 14 I think, though she didn't reach that rank on her main character.
Through a series of events that could have been prevented, Person B offered to share food with me. I refused but then it seemed like this outcome wasn't expected.
So after accidentally discovering this method by which inequality and unemployment could be reduced without 'wasteful' spending by anyone, there were two possibilities: either it would be possible to convince people to use it on a short-term timescale, or it would not be possible.
The situation had become more complicated because Person A had said something which suggested that Person B might be interested in me. Since Person A had previously said things which could have been interpreted as meaning they were no longer interested in me, basically my only excuse for thinking Person B wouldn't be interested in me was that I had no money (or hardly any), and no educational certification which is necessary to be considered for many high-paying jobs, or in the current economy maybe to get any job at all.
Since I had previously expressed interest in Person A, if society was such that it would be possible to convince people to use this idea of working less on a short-term timescale it would strongly imply that I was unsuccessful in my previously stated goal of being with Person A because my lack of educational certification would no longer be a valid excuse for not having "tried harder" with person B.
It seemed unreasonable that someone who could not control their own future could have thought up something which might prove important to many people in society, and so the more likely possibility was that society was not such that people could be convinced on a short-term timescale to use this idea or that no one who had knowledge of the idea would be able to convince people to use it.
So anyway, Person B's actions were consistent in making them appear to be a "nice" person, or selfless, or placing priority on the goals of other people. This included having confidence in using a decisive approach to determine her own value without imposing on other people.
It was less clear than Person A was using the same strategy but this was understandable because when we met she thought I was a girl and even named a kitten after me, which turned out to be male. The fact I didn't reveal my gender until a year had passed could easily have been interpreted to mean I was using the "selfish" strategy, as well as attitudes toward memory and so on.
If this is making any sense, the point of this site and previous efforts was to either succeed in a goal which according to polls on unemployment should benefit society, or in failing to 'disentangle' motives by forcing me to do something which could reasonably be concluded to be selfish. The length of time it has taken to do this has had the result of strengthening confidence toward the feasibility of the idea on this site through the evidence of attitudes expressed by other people, such as toward memory. This complicated method is intended to prevent certain people from being perceived as unhappy if I fail in, well, surviving; because the unreasonable length of time and situations I have put myself in mean that an ordinary person should not have faulted anyone who agreed to remove me from this situation even if it meant that the idea on this site wasn't used by society.
As you can see even this is kind of an excuse, since if people had agreed to use this idea much earlier, such as last year, I would have been saved all this effort.
Anyway this message is to convey that I have run out of money, and am forced to admit that I will need to try something new. Since I am supposed to have died somewhere along the way, such as when someone wouldn't reply to an email within a certain amount of time, or when certain things happened, or when I said I would be moving away from a building within definite time limits, ... etc, I feel it is very selfish for me to keep on trying to survive.
Also, Clannad. -_- (Someone who was 'spiritually attached' to a certain location, and SPOILER ...something happens, or did it happen at all?! The show is not clear.)
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