Most people write or speak for a certain audience: people with a high probability of hearing those words. They may also consider the low-probability audience, such as if they say something that's controversial when taken of context, or something particularly useful or interesting that's worth sharing.
With every post, there's the possibility it could be the last post, due to someone deciding to act; that a large number of people could learn of this site; and that the actual audience could expand way beyond the expected one. While it's true that a mass audience is probably not as smart as the small number of people who are expected to read this, whether they're smart is not the point. What is important is that they would be judging based on a limited amount of information, and a smart person acting on limited information makes similar judgements to a stupid person with the same, limited information.
If the world learned of this idea tomorrow, most people would say that I should have expected this to happen, and if the most recent post makes me look bad, it's my fault and I'm stupid.
"Sad sad sad, pt 2" was originally scheduled to be published at 00:00 local time on 15 Nov, and I'm sort of still in the mode of waiting for that to happen.
In recent years, it seems the government conspiracy, i.e. certain people who might have a degree of autonomy and act in ways that other people who know of this idea might not necessarily agree with, might have the goal of increasing the number of people who are interested in me.
I had said to Sherine, [...]
[apparently on 24 May 2013, possibly on 25 May]
Support it, because I don't like waiting and I would have to wait (days or longer) for anyone else to support it and I would hate that.
In other words I would have to convince people that I was dead and I'm not sure if I would come back to life
I don't know if I would be interested in anyone, so
I'm really bad at faces, I thought your profile picture really was you
More specifically, I didn't say whether I wanted other people to be interested in me. So if anything happened it would be my 'fault'. So it has to be something I have no control over, which gives me an excuse to say other people probably aren't interested in me and if I 'could' get people to use the idea instantly by being more convincing then it has to be something else. (If logic had worked then the reason was that I was stupid, and I couldn't control how smart I was.)
Well, I don't know if it's in the text file that I kept (I might have said it on Chirp Club). I implied that I was fine with more than one person being interested in me, because the number would decrease over time while trying to get people to use this idea, so even if more than one person was interested in me at a given moment, less than one person might be interested in me by the time people used this idea.
I think it's a bad plan to do anything to delay people using this idea. I have no health care and could have died from cancer. In the past few years, I have felt a slight pain in my lower right abdomen with increasing frequency and find it comfortable to think that I'm just going to die. Even if I don't die, I might be too sad that Kate has been alone for so along and might reject anyone else who is interested in me. Since Kate might also feel guilty, since she might have had an influence on the fact that I did not meet Mei, if people used this idea I might just feel that the best thing would be for me to just die. If it was another 10 years before people used this idea, Kate would be 49 years old.
The evil supercomputer question? It's about what people are willing to say is moral. It's not about what people would do. It's a bad story for two people to meet, and then not be able to be in a relationship for another 20 years, or for another 27 years (I first met Kate 17 years ago). If everyone did it, no one would have children, and within 100 years no humans would be left alive.
One of the oldest files I have; I'll list others, for context:
$ (cd /home/misaki/movies/misc/unclassified/; find * -printf "%T@ a %8s %Td %Tb %TY %TH:%TM %p\n"|sort -n|cut -f 3- -d " " )
7097092 29 Jul 2006 10:15 ParaParaParadiseBoomBoomFire.avi
19238186 29 Jul 2006 10:36 KingdomHearts2introv.avi
44722072 29 Jul 2006 10:39 DEFDIVASukiSugiteBak.avi
1149184 26 Aug 2006 05:34 HamsterWheelGoneWrong.avi
8252502 11 Jun 2007 11:55 They are Taking The Hobbits To Isengard.avi
10448314 03 Jul 2007 05:17 Pole Dancing Swan Lake.flv
15094709 06 Jul 2007 19:01 Morning Musume.flv
8243186 20 Jul 2007 03:58 CruelAngelsThesisAStudy.avi
30974844 22 Jul 2007 16:24 Basshunter DotA.avi
17265588 23 Jul 2007 00:25 Barbie Girl Tom & Sandra.avi
18949352 23 Jul 2007 01:05 All The Small Things Lynne & Tessa.avi
16605896 23 Jul 2007 12:32 Move Your Feet Lynne & Tessa.avi
22045236 23 Jul 2007 12:55 Barbie Girl Lynne & Tessa.avi
8132140 27 Aug 2007 20:59 Watchmojo-DancingBellydancing10Dance1866.flv
9790058 28 Aug 2007 04:20 Queen of the Night aria.avi
11023142 28 Aug 2007 04:59 Andrea Bocelli - Con Te Partiro.flv
4150987 28 Aug 2007 07:24 Legend of Sumi Jo.flv
13755325 28 Aug 2007 23:24 I KISSED A GIRL - JILL SOBULE.avi
12024944 29 Aug 2007 17:03 Neon Genesis Evangelion - A Cruel Angel's Thesis.avi
38423758 19 May 2008 13:18 Elfen Lied- Lillium_0001.wmv
21227524 05 Apr 2009 01:37 Kylie Minogue - Agent Provocateur.mpg
12780536 17 Aug 2009 14:38 temperature- sean paul.mp4
46553604 09 Sep 2009 07:51 mikuウマウマ_製作者様に感謝.avi
1096594 06 Oct 2010 19:11 02.avi
59376431 26 Nov 2010 14:32 Singapore National Day rehearsal fireworks - 31th July 2010.mp4$ (cd /home/misaki/movies/misc/jihadist/; find * -maxdepth 0 -printf "%T@ a %8s %Td %Tb %TY %TH:%TM %p\n"|sort -n|cut -f 3- -d " " )
28936719 26 Oct 2008 03:17 ulogy for the Martyr Abu Qaswara al-Maghribi.rmvb
1646271 26 Oct 2008 05:29 Eulogy for the Martyr Abu Qaswara al-Maghribi.pdf
7680 26 Oct 2008 09:18 Thumbs.db
159980085 23 Jan 2015 15:01 دماء الجهاد3 - ولاية نينوى.mp4
33612 23 Jan 2015 16:34 B7vS3kdCcAAuO3B.jpg
4096 23 Jan 2015 16:38 بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم المكتب الإعلامي لولاية كركوك يقد... - justpaste.it_files
22846 23 Jan 2015 16:38 بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم المكتب الإعلامي لولاية كركوك يقد... - justpaste.it.html
I'm sure that DEFDIVASukiSugiteBak.avi can be found on YouTube. I mentioned it on 23 Jul 2025. (The context is that these were the videos I felt were worth saving, when I was 20 years old.) "Suki sugite baka mitai."
So, the question: would I act like I was interested in a Person X if the idea were about to be shared by someone important tomorrow, or if it had already been shared?
I think the standard by which I act is pretty simple: is someone of roughly similar attractiveness to me or higher? Maybe the truth is that I would be interested even in someone who's less attractive than me. But this is not something I would want to admit. It's natural for someone to want to be in a relationship with someone else who's attractive. If I can 'bluff' and make someone who might not be as attractive as me pass me by, I should be happy with that outcome. It isn't reasonable for someone to expect to be in a relationship with someone who's a lot more attractive, but someone can hope to be in a relationship with someone of equal attractiveness, rather than with someone who's less attractive.
Furthermore, because wanting to avoid being in a relationship with someone less attractive is 'selfish', if someone is fine with such a relationship, they could be seen as 'nice'. Sometimes, nice people are seen as attractive because they're nice. Perhaps the truth is I wouldn't be happy in a relationship with someone who's less attractive, but I believe I would be. If I say I would be happy in such a relationship, then I appear 'nice', which is how I believe I am, but it's a lie.
Some people would say that every aspect of someone which affects whether other people are interested in them is part of their attractiveness. I disagree. There are other components; for example, people might say that someone is 'crazy', and make a chart like this one, found from an image search for 'hot crazy': https://www.teepublic.com/poster-and-art/46908546-hot-crazy-matrix
(Another image result from the same search has a left axis scale that goes from 1 to 10, not 4 to 10)
Compare lyrics from Ke$ha's Blow (1 2 3): "It's time to lose your mind and let the crazy out."
This particular trait, 'crazy', basically serves as an alternative to 'evil'. Both are viewed as negative traits, that are not immediately obvious and that serve to counterbalance attractiveness when evaluating someone as a potential partner (when they are not just lumped in to the definition of 'attractive'.) If someone is not rigorous with the truth, they can claim that a person who has the easily-evaluated positive trait of being attractive also has the hidden trait of being 'crazy' (usually attributed to females) or 'evil' (usually attributed to males).
Whatever you call it, someone might evaluate another person based on whether that person is likely to end a relationship without the first person wishing for it to happen. This would be a decision that would be intended to have minimal effect on other people in society, so a neutral party has no reason to think of such a tendency as "attractive" or "unattractive'.
Or, for example, someone might come from a family that acts in a way that's seen as undesirable, or is poor. (One of these probably applies to the scene in the drama Hana Yori Dango, when the female lead's mother pours salt on the head of the male lead's mother for offering them money if the female lead will give up on the male lead.)
Whether a person is attractive has very little to do with what I, personally, think. For example, the videos I just linked have a significant amount of views (others exist that might not have as many views, while many of the videos I checked were deleted or private), showing that there is a reasonable correlation between what I think, and what other people think who share over 99% the same genes as me. While there is definitely a cultural bias in both appearance and behavior (I don't think a willingness to use bad words, or to retaliate against small slights i.e. escalating conflict, is attractive), and I suffer from never meeting people in real life so I overestimate the attractiveness of short people who are filmed from a low angle, in general it shouldn't be hard to predict who I would consider attractive.
The question of why I am not naming a second person who satisfies the three criteria of 'female, from the US, attractive': I never really meet people. No one talks to me. I think it's possible the last female person who isn't a relative who has emailed me — disregarding an email related to a job search, which failed, in 2012 — was Sam Sam in 2011, if this person is female (they never mentioned their gender to me and I never asked); or an email where they said they didn't want to receive emails from people they didn't know might have been sent in mid-2012. Or it's possible the thank-you email from the Yemeni female whose foundation I donated to several years ago might have been sent by her. —Actually, it would be Cindy Castro, when I contacted her about a work opportunity related to Google's AI, in early 2023. She is from Colombia.
In 2007, before Mei left for Japan with her sister, she said that the US had nothing for them. This being the age of computers, instead of relying on my memory, I can do a search. Before I quote things, I didn't immediately find what I was looking for; the point is that the US does have a particular culture, it makes people tend to act in a certain way, like driving cars everywhere, and this can also include acting in a way that would make it unlikely I learn that they exist and try to talk to them while trying to get people to use this idea.
<redacted file path with email addresses>/2007-08-17.071227.txt:
(07:51:30) Lyciena: -sighs..- This will probably be the last time we talk for awhile.. sooo stop being emo >_<
(07:52:55) misaki: -pokes you feeling a little hope..- even if we didn't do anything... it'd be easy for nothing to happen with your parents around..? >.<..
(07:53:46) Lyciena: -pokes you- I don't want the first time I meet you to be stuck around my parents ~_`<redacted file path with email addresses>/2007-08-16.193413.txt:
(23:10:46) misaki: "There is no spoon!"...
(23:10:58) Lyciena: huh x_x;
(23:11:17) misaki: some problems... only exist because we think they do...
(23:11:52) Lyciena: Isn't that ALL problems between two people >_<
(23:12:20) misaki: no, it isn't.. x.x
(23:12:30) Lyciena: Social / relationship problems are always because of what one person thinks or feels.
(23:12:43) misaki: because situation and environment do dictate which choices are possible...
(23:12:44) misaki: but...
(23:12:53) Lyciena: Not really >_<...
(23:13:38) misaki: -sticks out his tongue..- my choice would be to go to Japan and get a job there... but I don't have any way to get a job, and I don't speak Japanese yet...
(23:14:16) misaki: so, my choices when it comes to you are altered
(23:15:35) misaki: with other people, for example, two people might, I dunno, have different expected outcomes for social/friends, work, and general future expectancies, based on different decisions they could make together
(23:15:43) misaki: which in turn influence the value of those decisions
(23:16:04) misaki: so, some problems really do exist and can't be solved by better understanding/thinking or better communication
(23:16:22) misaki: but other problems only exist because of how we think about things...
(23:16:55) misaki: -frowns a little..- ok how's this for an example >.<.. it's only vaguely related but it illustrates the principle
(23:17:08) misaki: 10,000 years from now, nothing we do now will matter, right
(23:17:36) misaki: so what's the point of doing anything? what's the point of trying to change the world, of helping starving or homeless people, when nothing they do will matter 10,000 years from now either
(23:17:56) misaki: the point is, our minds only react to certain situations and patterns
(23:18:13) misaki: changing the timescale changes how we view the situation, and how we react to it
(23:18:19) misaki: even tho it doesn't actually change the problem!
(23:19:11) misaki: a lot of philosophy is from changing perspective or emphasis like this, which is why a lot of philosophy is so bogus, because it doesn't change what we know to be true from experience
(23:20:02) misaki: so, just because things seem true in one context, and we react a certain way, doesn't always mean that we can't make the problem disappear by thinking the right way about it... >.<
(23:20:26) misaki: sometimes it's hard to tell if this can be done to a certain problem... but...
(23:21:44) Lyciena: -sighs- you know you're making my headache worse >_<..
I won't try to find the exact quote, in case it leads to me quoting more stuff like this.
The US definitely has people who meet all three criteria (many people who are in the US might not count as being from the US, though this might be up to someone to decide themselves). But how many of them know of this idea? How many would be willing to share this idea? I have tried to share this idea with many people, and to my knowledge, no one has publicly shared it, other than a few random people on Chirp Club. (I think I saw at least one person on Chirp Club who had shared it, and some places where I shared it had counters for the number of shares on different sites like Chirp Club, Facebook, etc., and for some of these the number of shares might have exceeded 0.) (When I said to Sherine on ask.fm, 'share this' with a link to the idea, probably in early 2014, she did answer that question with an arrow pointing at the question or something and shared that question and answer on Chirp Club.)
I cannot name a single person who is likely to share this idea if I asked them to, and so it trivially follows that if Ariana does not share it, I cannot name a single person who is female, unambiguously from the US, and attractive, who is likely to share this idea if I asked her to.
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